taking stock

Brin: Oh, you. It's been awhile....I miss you.

Hammock: I miss you too. I have such great memories of hanging between bamboo trees, swaying in the breeze with you, my favorite is when you hang me in the boat and the rocking of the waves helps me put you to sleep.

Brin: And then there was that one night with the mosquitoes and my twisting and turning gave you a workout. Sorry about all that blood; I am glad you washed up ok though.

Hammock: Know who else misses you? I heard Kindle does. She has forgotten the feel of your fingertips. And your Keens are afraid you'll never go for a hike again. We are all worried about you.

Brin: Oh, dear.... You might be on to something.

Hammock: Well, I hope we won't just talk.... unroll me and string me up.

Brin: Ok, how about tomorrow?  Maybe after my to-do list is done.

Hammock: This is hard for you to hear, but your To-do list texted me. She says she is exhausted, she goes to bed so tired and just needs a little space. Maybe you could lay off her a bit.

Before you think this is work of fiction, let me correct you, I actually had this conversation. I am hoping it was in my head, but it is stinking HOT here some days and momentary lapses of mindfulness are definitely occurring. Today, one of my students responded so strangely to my question I actually went over to her, lifted her ponytail from her neck and fanned her while I gave the answer. And  know what else?  The heat makes some people cranky.  I am not saying who...but we all know.

I am feeling rather drained. I would say Josh is too although he is not much of a verbalizer. So, I will update you all on him, and you are welcome for that. But at the heart of the above conversation is a truth that I can see plain as scorching day, but just can't seem to live it. I need rest. Reflection. Contemplation and some soul-deep companionship, with my Heavenly Father and with my "next door" neighbors. And I have all kinds of reasons why I am not living it. For one, we STILL are not fully unpacked yet. Serious. Also, I am teaching more classes to make up for being short-staffed here. Also I am teaching math and that is the other thing making me cranky. I try to get to the hangar on Wednesdays to work in the clinic, but then I have double housework on Thursday, which is already a heavy class load. Add to that coming off the ease and non-stop fun of furlough, I think I am actually going through some sort of endorphin withdrawal.

Our former Base Leader in Altamira, Bud Simon, would host a soul-care day once a month for all workers at his base. A very wise move as he modeled a type of Sabbath rest to remind us to take care of what is most important. Which is not unpacking, or planting a garden nor putting together a rip-roaring fun science class, or organizing my medication supply or sending a message to a dear friend. All these things being uncrossed items on my to-do list haunting me when I sink into bed.

Blessed be to God for the day of rest and religion occupation wherein earthly things assume their true size. Ambition is stunted.        -William Wilberforce

A to-do list is stunted. So today both my hammock and Wilberforce are giving out insightful advise. So, I will try to listen. 

So in the midst of exhaustion and on the brink of discouragement, I am looking for everything that brings about joy and gratitude. And the following is what I came up with... 

I accomplished something today. My students are learning how to propagate plants. So I taught them how to replant an aloe which involved a trek into the jungle to get some soil from our schools giant compost pit. One student was enthralled with all the larva in his shovel and another said it was the most disgusting thing she ever did. That made me feel fabulous. To gross-out a missionary kid is not an easily accomplishment.

And my avocado tree is producing, barely.  It is so covered in vines it is being robbed of nutrients. YIKES, could that not make an outstanding spiritual analogy?! Puzzle that one out on your own because I am too tired and too hot. Also, our little village is swamped with Malaysian apples. My family's theme.... Malaysian apples hot, Malaysian apples cold, Malaysian apples in the pot 9 days old.

Our school took a field trip to a local zoo run by a local university. It ended up being a drizzly day but overall was a pleasant learning moment outside of the classroom.  "Moment" might be accurate for some of the kids.

Did you know manatees hold their breath for 20 minutes? They can and we can for 20 seconds or the time it took to take this photo. (Mia in the front with her stuffed giraffe, Ava in the back)

Good thing Andreia and I were there to hold up the World's Largest Leaf. I tried to make sure my 6th graders knew it was a dicot, they made sure to let me know they wanted to go outside.

Soggy students inspecting the electric eel from which our village was named (poraquê). 

Here is my 3rd and 4th grade classroom, what a fun class for a science teacher, during the day I have birds in the room and sometimes at night I have a bat watching me do lesson prep. 

Someone needs to mow our lawn. Jaaaaaaaaaaaaahhsh? The poor guy has a never ending list of things to build, fix or organize. If you never receive a skype/email or any communication from him, don't take it personally. I try not to, at least. But wait, staying on a theme of gratitude, I have a lawn! I haven't always.

*** this post was written over the span of a week, poignant if not pitifully displaying the reality of my day-to-day. It is hot here, we are understaffed in certain areas, housework on the edge of a jungle without 24 hour electricity is challenging.  To share honestly, I am weary. And I recognize the tremendous need to be filled with the power and energy of our Father. So at the end of the day, if I am spent, it is for His purposes and glory, not my own personal ambition. Please pray for our family.