what ifs

It is 3:30 am and I can’t sleep because I drank too much guarana. My friend who is a chemical engineer (and who works at the local guarana factory, informed me that a guarana bean has more caffeine than a coffee bean. I believe him.

I lay in bed tonight thinking about “what ifs.” We had a little one yesterday. Josh was out with Mia and was getting on his motorbike when he bumped a long, heavy piece of metal sitting against a pillar and it crashed down on Mia. She is a bit bruised but what saved her from potentially another trip to the hospital was that she already had her helmet on. Thank goodness. Close calls like that kind of prompt me to remember other close calls. About this time a year ago, we were moving from one place that we had been house sitting for 3 months to a different house. We pretty much had everything moved so that night Josh and the girls slept in the new place. I stayed back at the old house because I had neglected to find a house sitter earlier that day. Plus I was not thrilled about leaving that house for a lesser. Anyway, here in Altamira, when you leave your house for the night you almost always ask someone to house sit for security reasons. We have heard stories about people arriving home to see their washing machine being lowered over their wall or another story where a couple went to the hospital to deliver their baby and when the husband went back to the house, their valuables and clothing had been stolen. Theft is so common and all the security measures, like guard dogs and privacy walls that felt weird when we first moved here are quite normal to us now. So to guard the house I slept there one last night. It went fine and the next day I lined up a sitter. A day later I talked to the house sitter and discovered that someone had broken into the house that night. She had smartly put on the security alarm and when it was triggered she awoke just in time to witness a man running out the door empty handed. See the thing is, the night before I had slept there. And I often did not use the alarm because those were the days when I was not sleeping well and I didn’t want to risk tripping the alarm when I got up to pace the kitchen or get a drink. I am not sure what I would have done but I certainly thought about it. And a year later, that “what if” situation still crosses my mind.

Another more humorous “what if” occurred 9 months or so ago. We had taken a trip to the Brasil Novo waterfall. I love that place. A small group of us were hiking through a wet creek bed when someone called out to stop and pointed to ground. Peaking out of some jungle river debris was a poisonous Amazon dart frog! You know, the kind Indians use to tip their blow-darts with poison. They are so rare and I was ecstatic and immediately began calling for Emily and Ella to come see it. I must have gotten too close because Alison pulled me back and said, “Careful, that snake can kill you.” I really wanted it to be a dart frog and didn’t believe him until the creature came out a little farther and revealed it’s triangular, some might say frog-shaped, yellow-speckled head. At least 3 pair of bare feet had trampled over it. Again, thank goodness. So on the way home I thought about it. Josh and I were leading that little group of 11 people. I was the only one with any healthcare knowledge but really that is inconsequential since I have no schooling on poisonous snake bites. But I thought about what I would have done. Tourniquet and transport was all I could think of. It would still take an hour to get to a hospital and that would be with no rain and driving as if someone’s life depended on it.

Josh has an even better “what if” story of when he was living in Papua New Guinea. I will let him share it. But on the subject of close calls and “what if’s”, they do get you thinking, don’t they? Large occurrences, like 9/11 incited masses of “what if” testimonies. And those big occurrences prompt us to think and rethink our lives. It gives us a chance to refocus our lives if we let it. Surely, if you take a second you can think of your own “what if” account and how it reshaped you as a person. But the little “what ifs” can start to add up too. And it not properly dealt with they can become rather overwhelming. Don’t ask what I mean by “dealt with” because like I said I am still thinking about mine years later. But here are some thoughts my mind has mulled over. Was Mia protected yesterday because of the relentless prayers of her great-grandparents? Quite possibly, yes. Do you think that hint of an experience with a middle-of-the-night thief make me appreciate the safety I have thus far experienced. Absolutely. It is when we have a difficult illness that we appreciate our previous health or when we have experienced a lay-off when we understand how good that old job we used to complain about really was. Those moments provide perspective. And in those moments if we can change our perspective to worship God as the guide in our lives that is what changes the rethinking of our lives to actual transformation. But even better, if we worship God, again as the guide of our lives, when the “what if” actually occurs, it proves that our worship and dependence on Him is not based on current circumstances. God is always worthy of our acknowledgement and praise, no matter how lousy we might feel, how massive the mistake we made was or what close calls fearfully become realities. The choice to embrace God is ours to make.

~BZP

Our Christmas Cookie Adventure

Christmas cookies are not necessarily a tradition in our house, but I was kind of grasping at whatever holiday tradition I could get my hands on. After deciding on a cheese ball and Christmas cookies, Ella and I went looking for cookie cutters (more on the cheese ball later).

We seemed to have lost our cookie cutters somewhere in one of our many moves. After visiting several stores, and chasing down countless leads, we found something that looked like cookie cutters at an office supply store (of course). It was actually a set of 3 different stars, and we also found a flower shape that we thought might pass as a wreath. Not wanting to try my luck with St. Nick, I decided to make a snowman shape out of one of the stars. After much bending and re-bending, we had a very realistic snowman (and by realistic, I mean what an actual snowman looks like, not an actual snowman cookie cutter). We were in business, our collection of two stars, a pseudo-wreath and a realistic snowman made us feel very festive.

About the cheese ball. Brin had been very excited recently because of a new item at our local grocery store: Philadelphia Cream Cheese. I thought it would make a good cheese ball. It was not quite as firm as I remembered a cheese ball to be, and the Brazilnut covering gave it a unique taste. It was tasted by all and enjoyed by none.

Our impromptu Metal Shop Class

The finished snowman

My turn to the dark side

Some of you may remember from a previous post (see #5 of the Brazil Top Ten List) I described an obtrusive, yet popular, method of advertising here is large trucks driving around with huge speakers blaring music and advertisements. Well, it seems I've succumbed to the culture.

Our youth group is planning an outreach event at a local gymnasium and they asked me to help them record an advertisement so they could hire a guy to "take it to the streets". I said sure I'd help, but soon after I felt like I had sold my soul.

As I helped a few of my friends with the editing of this masterpiece, I began to recognize the format we were putting together. The advertisements are always about 30 seconds, starting with a background music track - as an announcer's voice (think cheesy DJ voice) begins to vomit the information at you, at the end the music comes up and plays loudly for a few seconds - and then it starts over again. An interesting effect we added, that I often hear, is an echo on the first couple of words and last couple of words the announcer says.

You may find all of this boring. I think I just had to get it off my chest. I'm not sure what my reaction will be if I ever encounter the poor chap driving around blaring our advertisement. I may just start weeping.

In a room of ten people, I'd rank pretty close to the bottom 10% when it comes to sentimentality. So it may surprise some of you to learn that I'm missing being home for Thanksgiving this year. I'm not sure what I miss. Oh sure, the people. But it's more than that, living here we miss people all the time.

Maybe it's the food. I would really enjoy bellying up to the smorgasbord that is Thanksgiving Day. But I've learned my yearning for food is a bit of a mirage. I remember before we went home for furlough Brin and I would talk about what food we missed, what restaurants we looked forward to visiting, even what dish we would order (OK, as I write this I realize how lame that sounds...). The reality was, we had built it up a bit too much, even the goodness that is a crispy creme doughnut could not live up to the expectations of that first bite.

So it can't be the food. For me, the holidays is more than just the event, it's the collective feeling of being part of something big, something communal. I see it a lot here, Brazilians really know how to party, and have more national holidays than you would care to know (would anyone like to celebrate the birthday of your town?). But for all the celebrating that I see here, I feel like an observer. It feels a bit like an inside joke that I just don't get, no matter how many times I ask for an explanation, it's still not funny.

Anyway, I know somewhere, far away, everyone's laughing at my inside joke, but I'm just not there to enjoy it. Laugh away... oh yeah, and eat a huge slice of strawberry rhubarb pie for me.

-JTP

Mean guys and drunk women

I was asked to go on a trip to the Asurini, only a day before we would be leaving. I said I would, then kind of regretted it as the day got crazier and crazier. First, I found out my new truck needs it's engine rebuilt, the price tag for this truck just went up a few thousand dollars. Then the comparatively minor annoyance of our ceiling fan suddenly not working (try spending the night in the Amazon with out any air moving). Brin had a full plate herself when she got word that she needed to go to the hospital and coordinate between the Canadian and Brazilian doctors for Dan's evacuation flight to Canada. This fell to her because Ritchie, the missionary who has been helping care for Dan was in the hospital with his wife who was having a baby. Oh yeah, and later that day Brin was going to be watching Ritchie's 2 other kids.

In the midst of the chaos Brin and I decided I should go, mainly to provide the transportation for the film equipment needed. So I left Friday morning at 6:30 to catch the 7:00 barge across the Xingu River. After only traveling 2 miles on the other side of the river, the clutch cable broke and there we sat on the side of the road. I was ready to tell our group "I don't think this trip is going to happen", but Poli, the church worker I was going with, suggested we call Pastor Clenildo and have him buy the part and sending it over by speedboat (waiting for the barge would have meant at least another couple of hours). Surprisingly, we had the right part about a half hour later, 10 more minutes and we were on the road.

Poli sharing under the lights from our generator

That evening as Poli shared the gospel with the group of about 30, my mind wandered to last weeks service at the training center. Pastor Clenildo had shared how some guy asked him "What happened to Warner? What happened to Poli? What happened to several other guys? I used to know them. They were vagabonds. They were mean. They were not nice people. Now they are upright citizens and nice to be around." Warner, Poli and the other "vagabonds" he was referring to now go to our church and Christ has changed them. And there was listening to Poli, a faithful servant coming to this area once a month to share Christ. I never new him before he was a Christian, but some guys you can just tell they used to mean, you know what I mean?

Teresa is another Poli. Not that she was mean, but she drank... a lot. Teresa shared a testimony after Poli. She and her husband Orlando own a farm a few miles down the road. They spend a lot of time in Altamira and go to our church when they're in town. There's a church on their farm that they helped start and now they are reaching out farther down the road. Teresa shared how God took away her craving for alcohol. Then she asked anybody who wanted prayer for God to help them turn away from alcohol to stand up. When nobody stood she told 5 of the guys there to stand up. I'm not sure how God is going to answer that prayer, I felt there was a little bit of coercion going on. But you could see her heart for those people.

In the end the trip seemed well worth the effort. I was able to fix the ceiling fan before I left. Brin did fine with the extra kids while I was gone. And as for my truck, they say it'll be 3 days... I'll plan for more like 6.

A burned out tree stump on land cleared for cattle

"Waterfall" (no joke, that's his name) works at making Farinha,
staple food made from the manioc root.

I awoke to this scene from my hammock which I had strung between 2 trees.

butterflies, ballots and more

This past week has found us running in many different directions. Here are a few of the activities that have been occupying some of our time...

Starting on a serious note, a week or so ago a man who was visiting on a team from Canada was in a serious motorcycle accident. He suffered several broken bones and is still recuperating in a hospital here in Altamira. His team was here visiting our missionaries at our other base in Porto de Moz, so we didn't know him. The team he came with has since left and several of the missionaries have been helping to stay with him in the hospital (and translate when needed). Brin has been using her nursing experience and has spent several hours at his bedside.

Dan has been recovering nicely, but still needs surgery on his broken jaw. The family has been trying to get him evacuated to Canada, but the insurance company has been dragging it's feet. Please pray that he will be evacuated soon, if not, his wife will be coming to help out (for probably another 2 weeks in the hospital).


The bar-b-que pit at the training center.

This past weekend we had a celebration with all of our Altamira churches commemorating 10 years of work here. A couple hundred people stayed overnight at the training center and we butchered 2 cows. The service was a powerful time of agknowledging God's hand in the work here. I didn't get too many pictures, but you can see more on Bud's blog.


Last night a group of us missionaries got together and watched the election results (pictured above). We finally turned in around 11:30 when OH was called for Obama and it looked to be mostly over. It's interesting to watch politics from abroad, especially the attention that so many here give to American politics.

Brin voting by absentee ballot

Ending on a lighter note, one of the girls caught a butterfly and they had fun trying to get it to cooperate for a photo shoot...

My first funeral

We continue to be surprised by new experiences, even after living here for 2 years. The other day I went to a funeral of a man I never met.

I had heard about the death of a friend's dad, but never entertained the thought of going to the funeral. The other morning I showed up at another friend's house and asked what he was up to. "I'm on my way to the funeral, want to come?", he asked. My initial thought was that was the last place I wanted to go, but then I thought why not? I'll learn something new. I thought it odd they were still dressed in their work clothes. We jumped on our motorcycles and off we went.

As we rounded a corner I saw just ahead a procession, people mostly walking behind VW bus that had a casket hanging out the back. We joined them, half walking, half riding our motorcycles. I soon realized we were heading for the cemetery (makes sense, but I was prepared for anything). The procession reminded me of a New Orleans funeral, minus the pageantry. I was surprised that the normally boisterous and expressive Brazilians chose to honor their dead with solemn reverence and awe, much like we do back home.

The freshly hand-dug hole was waiting for the casket. One interesting difference with the casket was the sky light. Really, I'm not kidding. They don't embalm here, so all caskets are closed, the window allows the mourners to see only the face of the deceased. After a few songs and a prayer, the casket was lowered by ropes into the hole. The gravediggers immediately started covering the casket and the crowd slowly dispersed.

My first Brazilian funeral reminded me again of the paradox of experiencing a different culture. In so many ways the people here seem foriegn, in every sense of the word. And yet, the more I get to know them and their customs, I see they are so much like me.

Chicken Foot and Clean Water

This past weekend we traveled with a team from Ohio to a couple communities by road. Pé de Galinha (or "Chicken Foot") is a community where one of our Brazilian pastors has been working for a few years. Agua Limpa (or Clean Water) is a community where Keith, a fellow missionary, has been working for 2 years. I had never been to either of these places, but was eager to give my new truck a workout.

In addition to the team from Ohio, we took about 10 Brazilians who have been working with the church plants in Pé de Galinha and Agua Limpa. Although it looked like rain the whole way, we never felt a drop. I was thankful because our luggage (and some passengers) where uncovered in the back.

A quick photo-op as we stop to look at some monkeys in the trees overhead.

After arriving at Pé de Galinha and having lunch with some locals, we went out in groups and visited some neighbors, inviting them to the evenings program. Like many of the communities in which we work, the houses were spread out and remote.

Much of our time was spent just sitting around chatting. One topic included was the American presidential race. One of the locals was interested to know who each of us were planning to vote. It seems everybody knows Obama's name, but I've been asked several times "who is that other guy? John somebody?"

Two ladies were baptized at Pé de Galinha. Her husband attended the baptism and was visibly moved, but when asked, he said he wanted to wait for another day to be baptized himself.

Our girls were glad to have some other brazilian kids who went along. Pictured is Mia eating breakfast (crackers, chocolate milk, home-made cheese and corn meal) on a wooden cart.

It was nice to get back out into the interior after being away for so long. It was not without it's challenges though. After two nights with no electricity, running water or bathrooms, we were ready to be back home.

Our first couple weeks

The view out our front door. Unfortunate for my neighbor, candidate 15 lost the election (read on for an explanation).

I've been struggling to write a blog for the last several days. Not that we haven't been doing anything, it's just nothing that noteworthy. We've been trying to get back into the swing of things here, and for the most part we've been enjoying it. I'll try and give some highlights (or lowlights, as the case may be)...

• We came back to the hottest month of the year. I don't remember it being this hot before... maybe it's just the contrast, or maybe it really is hotter than normal. We have one room with an A/C that never really got much use during the rainy season. I'm not looking forward to seeing our bill for this month.

• The fans have been working overtime as well. The other day at lunch Brin realized that she had to compensate for the wind from the fan when shaking her pepper. Moving the shaker about 6 inches upwind seemed to do the trick.

• Ava and I (Josh) have really been the only ones unscathed by illness. Brin had an immediate bout with a weird rash (I say weird in the sense that for you and I it would be weird, unfortunately it has become somewhat normal for Brin). Ella and Mia both had a virus, but seem to be over it now.

• Global warming and international political pressure seem to be taking it's toll in Altamira, lumber is nowhere to be found. What used to be abundant and cheap is now quite the opposite. Most of the sawmills in the area have been shut down by the government. Most likely it's just a temporary show of power, but it makes buying furniture difficult. While pricing wardrobes I found prices had more than doubled since when we bought furniture when we first came. In my attempt to save money I went to a cheaper furniture maker and I'm getting nervous that I'm going to live to regret it.

• After 2 weeks of looking for a car we finally found one that I'm in the process of buying. A '95 Toyota pickup will be our upgraded ride. Ella threatened to not let me buy a truck unless she approved of it first. As for me and the other 2 girls, we're still missing the old Bandeirante.

• During our first week back we experienced Brazilian Election Day. Let me just say, for all of you that are sick of political adds right now, maybe you would prefer they advertise on your neighbor's house (see photos above). That's right, for a small compensation, a politician will paint their advertisement all over your house, or your car (which the person did who bought my Bandeirante, much to my horror).

• For the most part, the highlight of our first two weeks back in Brazil has been the realization and acceptance that we're home.
  

The blessing of lost luggage

On one of our flights to Brazil, a flight attendant asked Ava where she was from and she said “I don’t know”. The flight attendant told us about it and was laughing about the preposterousness of it. Brin and I laughed at the time, but in hindsight we could relate more with Ava than the flight attendant.

It was a long journey back to Brazil, we left on a Saturday and got to Altamira on the following Friday. In-between we spent a few days in Manuas and a few in Santarem, applying for our permanent visa (ironic, considering the lack of permanence in our lives). We weren’t sure how we were going to feel when we arrived back “home”, but to our relief it has truly felt like home. We got busy unpacking our boxes, the ones we brought as well as the ones we had packed up before we left. During our time in the States, the Hanson family (whose house we are renting) came for a visit and sold all of their furniture and belongings. We returned to a much emptier house, but what remains is now ours to make our own home. Our first in Brazil.

One small way that God provided on our journey back was with our luggage. We were returning with 10 pieces of luggage (6 of which were actually rubbermaids). Two years worth of homeschool books, clothing and ministry supplies. When we arrived in Brazil, 7 of our pieces were not with us. Six of the pieces were left in Panama City at our previous connection but the 7th was supposed to be there Manaus. Hmmmmmmmmmm? The six rubbermaids would be coming, we were told, and hopefully someone accidentally just took the wrong suitcase out of the airport and would return it as soon as they discovered their mistake. We hoped it was just a mistake but the thought did occur to us that it would be a lucrative move for a thief to steal a huge Rubbermaid from an overseas flight. Bummer for him though because as it turns out that suitcase was filled with used clothing and a bunch of books in English. It did not include the laptop, monitor, ipod, tools or computer that were in other suitcases. So we had to chuckle at that one. Haha, the jokes on you! But actually there was no joke to be had because the suitcase showed up the next day; it was indeed a case of mistaken identity. But we still had the headache of dealing with the other late luggage. The upside of the whole situation was that we didn’t have to take them through customs; the downside was I was hoping to put those 7 pieces on a flight to Altamira the day we arrived in Manuas. We didn’t want to haul them around to our hotels in Manuas and Santarem, and we would have paid an overage fee for them anyway on our flight to Altamira. After many calls back and forth to the airport, our airline agreed to send them as cargo to Altamira. We still weren’t sure if we were going to be charged, or when they were going to arrive, but amazingly, four of the seven were on our flight when we arrived in Altamira. The other 3 are another story. After more calls and even some trips to the airport, they finally showed up yesterday, 8 days after we arrived in Manaus. However, we didn’t have to pay a cent, a savings of around $500.

If you’ve made it this far you deserve a conclusion. In the midst of our luggage debacle, we felt stressed and worried that things weren’t going as we planned, but in the end it worked out much better. Late luggage is typically a bad thing, but God in His provision and sovereignty placed 350 pounds of luggage in Altamira without us having to cart it around and without paying a dime. This was just a little thing, but in bigger things we need to trust God all the more that His way is better than ours, even when we can’t see it at the time.
-JTP

During our time in the States, Ella struggled with knowing that we were returning to Brasil. She wanted to stay close to grandparents and go to public school and be with friends. Ella is about as social as a 10 year old can get if you don’t know her. So I sorta resorted to a bribe to sweeten the deal; she would get her own room. For most of you, it is probably the size of your closet. But she loved it and for the first few days we set it up and helped her decorate it. In penguins. So yes, you can now find penguins in a tropical rainforest.
-BZP

going home...

I'm currently writing this from our hotel room in Miami. We were in this same hotel almost 3 months ago as we arrived back in the U.S. It's been an eventful and often chaotic visit. We have a broad mixture of emotions as we return to Brazil for another two years.

Brin was reading the other day about how Job was able to have hope, in spite of feeling like God had abandoned him. In fact, his faith was essentially the act of him saying that even though he felt like God abandoned him, in reality he hadn't been abandoned at all. So faith for Job was clinging to the idea that God had a purpose and was working in his life, even though it was a mess.

So we're learning to understand what it means for us to have faith in that same God. Faith in the presence of God, even though we don't always have evidence of that.

We will be spending two nights in Manaus, two nights in Santarem (applying for our permanent visa), and then arriving back in Altamira on Friday. We are looking forward to getting moved back into our house, where we will be living for at least a year. We hope to resume our blogging to our pre-furlough pace once we get settled. Thanks for your patience!

Click here to veiw some pictures from our time in NC, as well as thoroughout our time here in the U.S.

-JTP

We're still here...

We've been busy experiencing life here in the States. Our girls are taking everything in, sometimes being overwhelmed by it all. Recently we were able to go skiing with my family at the Lake of the Ozarks, as well as take in a parade at the Marigold Festival in Pekin. The girls loved both experiences. Hope you enjoy the pictures...

Our chaotic life

We're starting to understand why so many missionaries have told us that furlough is generally not a restful time. We have been enjoying ourselves... visiting old friends, going to the zoo, waterpark, hiking, a week of family camp, among other adventures. In the midst of all the activity, maintaining our blog seems to have slid to a lower priority.

In an hour or so, Brin and I leave for the weekend to spend some time with college friends. We'll be returning to Tremont next week and will be around there (for the most part) until we leave Sep. 17th.

Below are some snapshots from the last couple of weeks:

Ella loved the attention she recieved at the camp we attended... now we are trying to figure out how to bring her back down to earth

Our girls with Brian and Janelle's kids at their house in Akron.

Exploring a creek in a state park with Joe and Angela and little Samuel.

Cooling off at the St. Louis Zoo

We saw several Amazon critters, many of which we have seen in the wild.