Between Here and There: August 2010

All the changes and excitement of the last month has been like a whirlwind. In some ways, we haven't even had a chance to catch our breath, as it seems like we've made one decision after another. Big decisions can be scary, but as I look back, I am so grateful for the way that God has provided people in our lives to walk this journey with us.

The phenomenon of furlough (what missionaries call their visit to their home country) is a relatively new experience for us. I'm not sure you can ever get used to living out of your suitcase. We have had so many great visits with good friends that we haven't seen for 2 years. But all the traveling can really take a toll on family life, along your sanity. We've answered some of the same questions and told the same stories countless times. We try to be as honest and open with people about our struggles and difficulties. But recently we've also shared the elation and excitement that comes with God working in your life in such a obvious way. Anyone who hung out with us in June and now recently since our new excitement could, in all fairness, label us as bipolar.

As I look back, I can't think of a better environment to make big decisions. We have been surrounded by people that love us and want to be a part of our ministry. They ask hard questions and force us to think about things from a different perspective. And they rejoice with us when God reveals that He has been working things out long before we were aware.

When we shared with our church that we may be making a move to a new city and a new ministry, they suggested that we go visit Manaus and come back and share our plans with them before returning to Brazil. They even offered to send two members of the missionary committee with us to check things out. So, Brin and I will be visiting Manaus Sep. 17 - 23 along with Roger and Beth who will be traveling with us to see our new home. We are looking forward not only to having them help look at things from a different perspective, but we recognize that they are symbolic of all the people that stand with us in this new chapter. They will be so much more connected to what we are doing, and by extension, the whole church will be standing with us as we take this leap of faith.

~posted by Brin

When Josh gets restless it usually means God is up to something. He describes his departure from 10 years in youth ministry, not as burnout, but more a restlessness that prompted him to ask of God for direction that ultimately led us to Brazil. And about a year or so ago, again with the jimmy legs. Josh tells how he battled within, attempting to discern whether it was an uncalled for discontentedness or a stirring of God that comes out as restlessness. I recognized that in him but honestly, I didn’t know what to do with it besides be annoyed. First of all, it threatened my security. I had finally taken root in Altamira and I quite simply thought Josh should make a go of it like I did. I recall one desperate day telling him to bloom where he is planted, and then immediately regretted it when he shot me a look that called me out on the cheesyiness.

Over the past 2 years, Josh and other like-hearted men from our Mission began a series of travels, conversations and cooperative dreaming about what God had for each of us. Looking back, he visited many places; Santa Isabel, Monte Dourado, São Felix and others that now have no more significance than names on a map. Then last February, a little town on the Amazon tugged on his heart like none other. A fire was lit! We had several other families added to the flame and we even gathered to discuss visions, timelines, and goals. Josh’s passion started to surface. Months of prayer, discussion and internal contemplation led us to think that God was leading us to this little town. And then, little by little, God sent each family a different direction, leaving our family pondering what would be next for us and honestly baffled and frustrated. We had no interest (or the capacity) to move to that town by ourselves so we essentially wiped it from the list of possibilities with no other options to take it’s place.

Awkward. That was how we showed up when we arrived home on furlough. We trudged through uncomfortable meet-ups with friends and family and stumbled over words trying to express our… I guess I would call it an in-between. Often times we just said, we’re still waiting, still praying, please pray with us. And early on I was certain, seriously certain, that God would reveal something fabulous. Josh prayed privately that God would do one of two things: open a door somewhere new or give him a fresh enthusiasm for Altamira, which was what I hoped would happen. But weeks went by and then months and the wait felt heavier and heavier as it wore on. I started to get twitchy. I would vacillate between a confident state of living in God’s strength during the wait and security in God’s love for me and then out of nowhere a sudden flash of desperation where I was tempted to put Josh’s résumé on Craigslist and buy the first house that had a For Sale sign.

From June until now we have been moving around home to home. Staying up late for conversations, skiing, playing golf, gaining weight, clearly we are having a fun visit. Beginning July 8th, we began a month of travels starting in Minnesota to see my family and a visit to old friends Chris and Dana. We had a 3 night Providential stopover before Midwest Family Camp at Rachel and Adam’s (Josh’s sister) house in Milwaukee. Rachel hosted a party so that we could meet some of their friends, and that evening one of them told us that another missionary family from Brazil was in town and that he (Wilson) was a pilot in the Amazon Basin. Hmmmmmm, now before I continue with this story I have to remind you all that Josh has had an interest in aviation since childhood. I know this because his homemade Christmas stocking that we inherited at our marriage has an airplane on it. He also has his degree in Aviation Science but after graduation went straight into full time ministry and has been there since.

We went to church the next morning with intentions of hunting down this family, motivated by the aviation aspect. But they were speaking at a different church. I would have labeled the whole situation “bummer”" had I not read the recent letter the family had written to the church. In it they spoke of their goals for furlough. Now generally, when missionaries come home their goals include things like passport/visa paperwork, continuing education, rest and vast amounts of food, get a suspicious mole looked at, and in our case, get Josh some new teeth. Their goal that stunned my soul: encourage the body of Christ to find their role and purpose in the Kingdom. That is us!! Also, a detail of interest, all three of their children attended College of the Ozarks in Missouri where Josh and I met. We have to find them, I pleaded of Josh. So, armed with sketchy directions to the church where they were speaking, we eagerly headed out to find them while I peppered Josh with advise on how to approach them.

Adam finds the church and we head in as everyone is pouring out. It was kind of exhilarating really, but I soon realized that they could be slipping past us in the crowds and we wouldn’t even know it. So, I started holding up their prayer card picture and asking strangers, “Do you know where they are?” Later Josh admits his embarrassment because probably everyone assumed we were at the service and wondered why we wouldn’t recognize them ourselves. We find them and Josh ambitiously starts out the conversation by asking about the aviation scene in the Amazon Basin and then leads to what our family has been doing the last 4 years and our current in-between state. Josh recounts the story of how we were ready to move and then our team dissolved and Wilson responds by saying, “funny you mention Atalaia, my family is considering moving there next year.” Now, be aware, this little town of 7,000 is one of hundreds in the Amazon Basin. That connection was stunning! Josh’s next question is one that he has been asking himself for years, “What would it take to get back into aviation with no experience outside of schooling?” Josh had erroneously assumed there would no place on the aviation mission field for someone with no experience. Not true, Wilson stated, and what seemed off the cuff at the time, invited our family to join him in Manuas and he would train Josh for a year. Only 10 minutes had passed and Wilson needed to leave, so Josh asked him where he would be for the remainder of his furlough, Josh thinking he would travel to wherever Wilson was staying to continue the conversation. And the next amazing provision…he would be heading to see his daughter (pre-nursing from College of the Ozarks, just like me) where she got her first job at St. Francis Medical Center in Peoria, IL (just like me). In two weeks, God would intersect our paths once again, putting us only 15 minutes apart.

So we went on to Midwest Camp, thrilled at the new possibility, but yet still as uncertain as ever of our future. But this time, we had a spark of hope and sharing our unknowns became pleasurable because we KNEW God was up to something; we had to testify to that. We took advantage of having the ears of other missionaries at camp; Dan and Heather Galat in Africa and Tim and Christine Huber in Japan. And we excitedly told people of our intersection with Wilson’s family, Josh’s (God initiated) restlessness and our hunger to hear from God.

Two weeks had passed when we gave a presentation to our home church in Tremont. We shared honestly about our last 2 years, which included a tough last 6 months starting with dengue fever in December and then Josh’s motorcycle accident in April. We shared that we were in the midst of a challenging wait, but hope seemed around the corner, because we were going to meet with this new family the very next morning. We sensed God had us on the precipice of something amazing, but were still without anything specific. Pray for us tomorrow morning, we pleaded. So with the awkward in-between off our chests and the supportive and loving gaze of our church family upon us, we bowed for prayer. And when I looked up so many people surrounded us we could not see through the crowd.

With amounts of anticipation that I cannot not even describe, we met up with Wilson and his wife Lori at Bob Evans in East Peoria. We heard their story, got a sense of their ministry vision and learned that his need for an aviation mechanic with an organization called Asas de Socorro (wings of rescue) is very legit, as was their offer to train us in Manuas. A few days passed, and with the seriousness of a potential move ripening, Josh and Wilson met again, this time bringing Steve Meyer (head of our church’s missions committee) and Beth Scheuermann (our family's liaison to the missionary committee). Everyone involved has not just a peace but an excitement. The wait appears to be nearing it’s end and we marvel at how God has so dramatically intertwined events in our lives. From 20 years ago when a conversation with Luke Huber sparked aviation in Josh and my own call to nursing as a freshman at C of O to our recent travels with teammates with Xingu Mission. We learn this and relearn this: time is in His hands, beginning and the end, and His strength will rise when we wait on His call.

Our next step is the product of Josh’s divine restlessness, a hunger for something that he knew was inside him and he didn’t want to ignore or deny. God stirs us when He is ready to move us, a mighty move on the inside or out.

Sights from our travels: